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Ok so I’ve been found out….


I have been quiet lately. A good friend and family member has noticed and sent me an email. I was hoping it wasn’t too noticable.

I have been kinda sad.

It will be 2 years on Friday since Baby Girl was diagnosed with Chondrosarcoma. It just is a very bittersweet time for me. Having to prepare a 10 yr old for the fight of her life was not an easy task, by any means.

To add to it all, she has an appointment coming up next week. It is a pretty big appointment. At this appointment we will see Baby Girl’s chest scan for the first time in a year, to make sure there has been no spreading to her lungs. We will also see her pelvis CT to be sure nothing has grown in the tumors which still remain.

If all goes well, we will get to move to 6 month appointments instead of 3 month appointments.

I always get apprehensive and moody when the appointments come up. I can’t imagine what the hell I will do if it comes up with anything other than perfect.

Adding to all that, I have been told by my doctor that I am severly anemic and I need to take an iron pill the size of a horse’s head. I also need to see an OB-GYN because I am losing so much blood each month. My grandmother had this same problem and they gave her a hysterectomy. I am worried that I will need to do that too…. UGH!

Then, it is fall. Fall always reminds me of my Uncle. He lived with our family one year during the fall and winter. He and I took long drives and took pictures of the leaves. We had so many good talks during that time. He became a father to me, and I think I helped eased the ache he felt for his own daughter the same age. He died too young from cancer a few years ago.

So, all these things have me feeling pretty funky. I am still losing weight, and that is about the best thing right now going on. Maybe I will make another video of Baby Girl. That always cheers me up.

5 Responses

  1. Hope all goes well for Baby girl. It’s always good when the declare the check ups can be wider apart. Take care.

  2. Hang in there. I’m just one of a lot of people cheering you on and sending prayers and good wishes your way.

  3. Hey sweetie we are sending our love from the AZ. You are strong and I admire that about you. Big hugs because even us tough chicks need a little love now and then. 🙂

  4. Oh honey {{{{ }}}} October is my own bad month so I understand how Fall can bring bad bad memories and melancholy.

    Baby Girl is often in my thoughts and I hope and pray that her scans all come back clean. If you do wind up going thru a hyst. remember that you’re not alone. I had mine 3 years ago. Im happy to give you what support I can thru the distance.


    Mama Kelly

  5. I feel ya! I’ve been missing my dad a lot lately too. Wish you were closer. You still have that calling card I sent you? Now would be a good time to use it…if you want to talk. I’d love to hear from you. Always here for you!

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