Have you ever said something with the best intentions, and realized as it escaped your lips that it was probably the stupidest thing you ever said?
I have done this many times, but I don’t think any of them have been as bad as this time.
A co-worker brought her four year old nephew into work with his mom (her sister) recently. Her sister moved to the area recently and I asked his mom if she was going to get him enrolled in school soon. She made a comment like “With all of his other issues, school is the last thing I want to think about right now.”
A few days later I was talking to my co-worker and I asked her if her nephew was having problems in school, referring to the comment by her sister. She wanted to know what kind of problems, and I asked if he was learning disabled.
I really was only going by what the mom said, and I asked with the best intentions.
I used to teach headstart… I was hoping to give the family some resources if this was a problem for them, especially being new to the area and all.
I have relatives who suffer from dyslexia and other various learning disabilities. I grew up around various learning disabilities and it never was something to be ashamed of. I never regarded them as stupid or dumb… I feel people who suffer from such disabilities are smarter than most of us without disabilites. Learning disabled have to overcome twice what I do in order to function in normal society. I have the utmost respect for those who suffer from learning disabilities.
My co-worker became seriously offended because she felt that I was referencing that her nephew was stupid. That comment actually offended me, but I was so busy trying to apologize that I never was able to let her know that I was offended as well.
I am very sorry for making the comment. I am horrified that people relate learning disabled to being stupid. Before today I never made that connection. Maybe I am the weird one.
Tonight our pastor had a sermon on Pride…. and I realized once again God was reminding me that I need to stop being so caught up in myself and serve others.
I will just hang out in this corner, sucking on my toes…. because my foot is deeply embedded in my mouth.
[image source: Diet Survivors Meditation]
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tagged: dyslexia, learning disability, learning disabled, shame, work |
Tall Chick Tales 
Hey, Tall T, how’s that foot taste. 😉 Maybe you could write your coworker a short note explaining the reason behind your question, and I’d just leave your feelings out of it, just for the sake not making it a “you” issue in her eyes.
As for Author’s comment, I’m familiar with the book she mentioned, and it is very funny. Her situation was a really bad case of bad timing. I really do feel for her boss, but that is one of the funniest comments I have ever read. Poor cats.
Back to your issue, don’t beat yourself up. It was a misunderstanding, and you know your intentions were good whether your coworker understands or not. 😉
Luckily this co-worker says what she has to say and then never bring it up again… which is very nice of her. If we could all have such generous co-workers lol!
Let’s be honest – we’ve all stuck our foot in our mouth at sometime or other.
I once worked for a boss who loved cats (he had 3) and had a wacky sense of humour. On his birthday I bought him a silly fun present – it was book caled: “101 things to do with a dead cat” – it was fun silly cartoons suggesting crazy humorous ways of using the cats after death. It was funny, HONEST! No really it was!
Anyway – I duly presented it to him on the morning of his birhday. His face fell, he gave me a “look” I will never forget and sped fom the room. He din’t speak to me for the rest of the day.
Much later that day I found out that his cats slept in his boiler room at night – and his gas boiler had leaked – and they’d all died. It was tragic.
Now you all know I’m a cat lover – and the book was meant to be a bit of fun – but it wasn’t so much “foot in mouth as whole body in mouth. I felt terrible.
Things were icy for a few days despite my apologies.
OMG This comment has me in tears…. thanks for making me feel better Jan! What a horrible sense of timing….
Wow this reminds me of a time when I asked a parent on my kids baseball team if her little boy was autistic… LMAO you should have seen the look I got… TO this day I still think that kid has some autisim but I just avoid them at the ball park now… =)
lol!!! Sounds like I got this hereditary wise…